So here's the deal:
Every legitimately, recognizably really-attractive boy I have ever started talking to or gone out with has totally jumped ship in short order of meeting me (save the newest one, but the paranoid part of me says it's only a matter of time. I try to make it shut up), regardless of the intellectual/emotional connection we've managed to build/establish or whatever.
Clearly, this says that the pictures I post online are more attractive than I am. How does that work? Photo editing software. I've gotten really damn good at them. See, I figure that if I'm going to put pictures of myself out on the internet where they can be seen and had by about anybody, why the hell would I put one up that makes me look bad? I'm going to make myself look as good as possible, even if it's kind of a lie.
I edit out acne. I airbrush out the unevenness of my skin tone. I fix the exposure/contrast/color of the photo itself so that it doesn't look like shit. And I cut it so that I don't have fat bulges/rolls within the frame.
Cheating? Obviously.
But it's just how it is.
I am tired of being overweight. I am tired of having fat rolls. I am tired of being squishy. I am done being unhealthy.
Starting today, I'm putting myself on a diet and exercise regimen, and I intend to stick to it. I'm cutting soda out of my diet and I'm done snacking. I will drink at least three (12 or 16 oz) glasses of water a day. I will take my multivitamin and my antihistamine without fail. Alongside the diet, I will do an abs workout in the morning when I get up, and I will run at night.
I intend to lose at least one, preferably two or three dress sizes. The time has bloody well come.
For the record, I'm not doing this because other people don't think I'm good enough. That's not what this is about. This is about me making myself healthy and happy. This is about me turning my life into something that I'm honestly happy with and proud of.
I'm going to warn you now that the pictures I post on this blog will not be edited. Not even a little. Even though I want to. And I'm going to warn you that, in the beginning, they sure as hell aren't pretty. I am embarrassed by what my body looks like, even though I probably shouldn't be. This, of course, means that I'll be posting essentially "naked" pictures of myself on the internet. But I don't give a rat's ass anymore. This project has a purpose, and maybe people can find motivation in my story. Maybe.
I will need all the support I can get for this process. I don't want anybody to tell me that I look fine, or that I don't need to lose weight to be beautiful, or that thick girls are pretty too. While all of these are probably/definitely true, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT. So do me a favor and don't say it.
I cannot lose dedication to this project. I just can't. This has to happen. The time has come.
Every legitimately, recognizably really-attractive boy I have ever started talking to or gone out with has totally jumped ship in short order of meeting me (save the newest one, but the paranoid part of me says it's only a matter of time. I try to make it shut up), regardless of the intellectual/emotional connection we've managed to build/establish or whatever.
Clearly, this says that the pictures I post online are more attractive than I am. How does that work? Photo editing software. I've gotten really damn good at them. See, I figure that if I'm going to put pictures of myself out on the internet where they can be seen and had by about anybody, why the hell would I put one up that makes me look bad? I'm going to make myself look as good as possible, even if it's kind of a lie.
I edit out acne. I airbrush out the unevenness of my skin tone. I fix the exposure/contrast/color of the photo itself so that it doesn't look like shit. And I cut it so that I don't have fat bulges/rolls within the frame.
Cheating? Obviously.
But it's just how it is.
I am tired of being overweight. I am tired of having fat rolls. I am tired of being squishy. I am done being unhealthy.
Starting today, I'm putting myself on a diet and exercise regimen, and I intend to stick to it. I'm cutting soda out of my diet and I'm done snacking. I will drink at least three (12 or 16 oz) glasses of water a day. I will take my multivitamin and my antihistamine without fail. Alongside the diet, I will do an abs workout in the morning when I get up, and I will run at night.
I intend to lose at least one, preferably two or three dress sizes. The time has bloody well come.
For the record, I'm not doing this because other people don't think I'm good enough. That's not what this is about. This is about me making myself healthy and happy. This is about me turning my life into something that I'm honestly happy with and proud of.
I'm going to warn you now that the pictures I post on this blog will not be edited. Not even a little. Even though I want to. And I'm going to warn you that, in the beginning, they sure as hell aren't pretty. I am embarrassed by what my body looks like, even though I probably shouldn't be. This, of course, means that I'll be posting essentially "naked" pictures of myself on the internet. But I don't give a rat's ass anymore. This project has a purpose, and maybe people can find motivation in my story. Maybe.
I will need all the support I can get for this process. I don't want anybody to tell me that I look fine, or that I don't need to lose weight to be beautiful, or that thick girls are pretty too. While all of these are probably/definitely true, I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT. So do me a favor and don't say it.
I cannot lose dedication to this project. I just can't. This has to happen. The time has come.
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